“You look very cute, Enzo.” Dot smiled, looking down at the scowling one meg sprite dressed in green leggings, tunic and pointy hat. His shoes, too large for his feet, curled up at the toe, and he sported a pair of prosthetic pointed ears that matched his hat. “Quit complaining.”

“Cute?!” the boy howled. “But Dot-“

“I told you Enzo – Santa can’t make his deliveries without an elf to help him. You should be honored. Besides – you fit into the costume.”

“Santa this! Santa that! It’s just some dumb User holiday. Why are we wasting time with it?”

“I think it’s very nice.” Dot frowned, adjusting the wriggling boy’s ears critically. “Giving presents to people, spending time together. We should do more of that. Besides, Santa might have a gift for you, who knows? If you’re good…”

“Frisket?!” Enzo gasped as the red pooch walked into the command center. “What’s she done to you, Boy?”

“Perfect! Call him Rudolph.” Dot grinned.

“What are those things on his head?”

“Antlers.” Dot replied proudly. A pair of forked, branching horns were cut and pasted to the distinctly unhappy dog’s forehead. “Santa’s sled is pulled by reindeer, you see. Reindeer are big animals with horns-“

“Oh, Frisket…” Enzo sighed, wrapping his arms around the dog’s neck sympathetically. “She got you, too! Say – where is Santa anyway? And his sled?”

“Here he comes now!” his sister laughed.

“So just what are we supposed to do, exactly?”

“I really don’t know, AndrAIa.” Bob smiled. “You know how Dot is when she gets on a roll like this. Just act surprised and enjoy yourself.”

“Surprised? Shouldn’t be hard – I have no idea what’s going on.” Matrix sighed, sipping his drink. “Ugh! What did you say this was called, Cecil?”

“Egg nog, Sir.” The served replied tersely. “Madame insists it is a traditional beverage during this particular festival.”

“Nasty!” the bearded sprite scowled, shoving it away. “How does Dot know all this stuff, anyways?”

“Research.” Bob grinned. “She doesn’t do anything halfway, Matrix – you know that. After that game she decided she liked the idea of this holiday. And once she got that in her processor, no detail was too small.”

“I think she’s just got a thing for parties.” Matrix sighed. A faint jingling sound began to filter into the diner. “What’s that?” the big sprite frowned.

“I dunno!” AndrAIa shrugged.

A wide grin crept across Bob’s face. “I think I might have some idea…”

“Look!” Matrix pointed, a choking laugh escaping his throat. The doors of the diner were thrown open and Frisket trudged through, whining. Santa’s sleigh – actually two zip boards with a green blanket draped over them and several strings of bells attached - was hyperlinked to his collar. The boy sat red-faced and muttering atop the sleigh, a red-suited figure behind him, holding a large sack. A grinning Dot brought up the rear of the odd little procession.

“Ho- … Oh dear.” The red-suited figure began. “Line?”

“Ho, ho!” Enzo whispered urgently.

“Ah yes, thank you Child. Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!”

“Phong!?” AndrAIa laughed.

“That beard is you, Old Friend!” Bob chuckled.

“Thank you, Young Bob…” the old sprite smiled cheerfully.

“That’s a great look for you, Sprout.” Matrix chortled, winking at Enzo. “Real stylish!”

“Byte me...”

“Oh Enzo – you look adorable!” AndrAIa laughed.

“Thanks a lot!”

“But what – what are you exactly?”

“Santa’s little helper!” Dot smiled, straightening the squirming elf’s hat. “Isn’t that right, Phong?”

“Er – indeed, Child. From my workstation-“

“Work-shop.” Dot corrected.

“Yes. My workshop. Where we make the toys for all the good little boys and girls of the net. Have you children been good this hour?”

“Of course, Phong.” Bob chuckled. “I think defeating Megabyte and saving the city deserves a few presents.”

“Can we please get this over with?” Enzo pleaded.

“I don’t know – I think we should all take some time and reflect on just what the holiday means. What’s the rush?”

“I’ll get you, Matrix.” Enzo growled. “Just wait…”

“These Users must be very strange.” AndrAIa mused, studying the oddly dressed actors in Dot’s play. “To come up with costumes like that…”

“Please Phong – the presents?’ Enzo begged. “These ears itch!”

“Yes yes, of course Child. Presents, yes. Now where did I put them? Let me see. Ah! Here we are…”

“Alphanumeric!” the elf sighed, ripping his ears off and tossing them to the floor. Santa’s reindeer sniffed at them curiously and swallowed them in one bite.

“I guess Frisket got an earful.” AndrAIa chuckled.

“Enzo! We’re not finished yet!” Dot scolded. “Get back here!”

“Speak for yourself.” The boy unattached the sleigh from Frisket’s collar and planted himself safely next to Bob in the booth. “I don’t work on Christmas!”

“Oh, very well. I go to all this effort, the least you can do is play along for a few nanos, but no! Well, you just sit back and enjoy the rest of the party, then. Don’t give all my planning and preparing a second thought. We’ll be just fine.”

“Does she ever stop doing that to me?” Enzo whispered.

“Nope – trust me.” Matrix sighed. “I had to run away to the games to get away from it…”

“Er – Phong, you were saying something about presents?” Bob said helpfully.

“Ah yes, My Son.” The old sprite rooted around in his sack for a nano and handed the game spite a large parcel. “Hmmm. This one is for AndrAIa. Have you been a good girl this cycle, My Dear?”

Matrix, for some reason, looked distinctly uncomfortable at the question. AndrAIa blushed slightly and nodded. “Thank you Phong – I mean Santa. Sorry about that whole plunging you to your deletion business…”

“Child?”

“Never mind!” she chuckled, ripping the paper off of the package. “Um – thanks… Santa. What is it, exactly?”

“It is a sweater, My Child. It is just – well… I thought perhaps you must get cold-“

“She does!” Enzo and Matrix mumbled simultaneously before turning to stare at each other.

“Er - given that you wear – well… so little.”

“Thanks, Phong. Sorry – Santa! Very stylish…”

“Perhaps you could move on to the next gift - Santa?” Dot sighed.

“Yes of course, Young Dot. Let me see, let me see… Ah! Guardian, I believe this gift is for you.”

“Thanks, Santa.” Bob grinned, accepting a small parcel from the old sprite. He quickly tore the wrapping off. “Hmmm. ‘Calvin Sprite Eyebrow Maintenance Kit – includes brush, ultra body gel and finisher’. Gee – I wonder whose idea this gift was…”

“Not a clue.” Dot mumbled.

“Thanks, Santa. I’ll treasure it for seconds.”

“You are most welcome, Young Guardian. Let me see now... Well! A gift for Santa! Isn’t this nice.”

“What is it, Phong?” Enzo asked curiously.

The old sprite beamed. “’Mister Cocoa’! It comes with an automatic timer! Now I will not have to rise early to prepare that first cup. The floors in the Principal Office are very cold at that time of the morning…”

“Well – Santa giving himself a gift isn’t exactly part of the tradition, Phong – at least from what I could tell.” Dot frowned. “But you deserve it.”

“As do you, Child. I believe I have a present for the Command.com in here somewhere…”

“Santa! That’s not necessary, really-“

“Of course it is, Child. Ah! Here we are. Merry Christmas, Little Girl. I hope you were good this year?”

“I’m always good.” the Command.com replied smugly.

“Don’t you ever get tired of it?” Bob asked.

“Don’t you ever get tired of being lazy and disorganized, Buster? Oh! This is lovely, Phong. It’s – it’s…”

“It is collection of ‘Precious Nanos’ herbal teas, My Dear.” The red-suited sprite smiled. “Memory Mist, Binome Bliss… They will help you to relax, perhaps. I think you may be drinking too much java, Child. At least I assume that’s what it is…”

“If only it were that simple.” Bob sighed.

“Well – thank you, Santa. It was very thoughtful.”

“You are welcome, Dot. Now, what have we here? Ah – it is a present for Young Matrix. Here you are, My Boy.”

“Thank you, Phong.” The bearded sprite smiled stiffly, accepting the tiny parcel. He gingerly removed the wrapping and placed it to the side. He held up the gift, frowning. “’32-Bit Lotion’ – because you itch?!”

“I know it is not easy to talk about such things, Child.” Phong nodded sagely. “Believe me, I recognize someone with a chafing problem when I see them. A simple application of lotion twice a cycle and you’ll be smiling in no time.”

”Stop laughing, Sprout!” Matrix growled. “And stop rolling around on the floor…”

“Is that all, Santa?” Dot sighed.

Phong looked inside in his sack of gifts. “Yes – I believe that we are finished, My Child.”

“Hey!” Enzo shouted, springing to his feet.

“Aren’t you forgetting someone?” Dot grinned.

“Of course – how foolish of me.” The old sprite rooted around in his bag for a nano. “Here we are – I nearly forgot poor Frisket.”

“Frisket?!”

“For all your hard work pulling my sleigh, Rudolph.” Phong smiled. He handed the dog a rubber null, which squeaked when Frisket grabbed it in his jaws. The pooch tasted it judiciously for a nano and promptly swallowed it down.

“The gift that keeps on giving.” Bob said wryly as the dog coughed and disappeared into the kitchen.

“So that’s it, then?” Dot asked.

“Indeed, Child. A most enjoyable ritual, quite interesting. I believe I once saw a read-me file about it…”

“Hey!”

“Come on, everyone – Cecil has laid out a lovely Christmas buffet for us.” Dot smiled. “Join me at the bar-“

“No fair! What about me?” Enzo wailed.

“Enzo?” Dot frowned. She winked at Phong. “Oh dear – Santa?”

“Hmmm. I am afraid the gifts are only for the boys and girls who were good, My Child. We must respect the tradition.”

“Very funny, Phong! I was plenty good!”

“I dunno Enzo.” Dot sighed. “What about the time you lied about your delivery to Lost Angles and almost got Bob deleted?”

“But-“

“And the time you almost erased Dot’s memory with the magnet.” Bob said sadly, shaking his head.

“That was an accident!” Enzo protested.

“And all those times you followed Bob into games when you weren’t supposed to.” Matrix grinned evilly.

“Hey – so did you, Nullbreath!”

“And then there’s your language.” Dot frowned. “Very sad, this is all very sad…”

“I’m having no part of this.” AndrAIa scowled.

“Aw, c’mon!” Enzo pouted. “You’re kidding, right? I’m sorry I complained about the elf suit! Dot? Phong? Please?”

“Well…. Maybe there’s something left in Santa’s bag. I suppose just this once we could make an exception. Santa?”

“Perhaps this once.” Phong smiled. He reached into his sack and brought out a small parcel. “Merry Christmas.”

“About time!” the youngster scowled. He ripped the bow off and tossed it aside. “What’s this? Mewtwo… Pikachu… Pokemon trading cards?!”

“All the little sprites love these. Or so I’m told.” Phong smiled. “Isn’t that right, Young Dot?”

“Of course, Santa. Now what do we say, Enzo?”

“Basic! This is totally basic!”

“What? You don’t like them?”

“You bet your ASCII I don’t like them! These are for basic little kids! I – Hey! What’re you laughing about?”

“Think he’s had enough?” Dot smirked.

“I think so.” Bob chuckled. “Santa?”

“Hmmm. There does seem to be one more present lodged down in here…”

“Very funny you guys!” Enzo pouted. “Very funny… I’m laughing so hard I might just uncompile…”

“Maybe you’ll be good next hour.” Matrix grinned.

“Here you are, Child.” Phong smiled, handing the youngster a large box. “Perhaps this will be more to you liking.”

“Thanks.” The boy said grudgingly. He carefully removed the wrapping paper, casting suspicious glances at a grinning Dot. Finally, he held up the contents, mouth agape. “Awesome! I can’t believe it – the Red Ryder Carbine Action Two-Hundred Shot Lightning Loader Range Model Air Rifle! Dot!”

“Don’t thank me – thank Santa!”

“This is alphanumeric! Pixelacious! Totally double-sided, high-density!”

“Just don’t put your eye out with that thing.” Dot sighed. She glanced at Matrix. “One of you is enough.”

“Dot, this is totally awesome! Can I go outside and play with it right now?” Enzo begged.

“Maybe in a little while, Enzo. We’ve just about to eat, remember?”

“Dot? If I may?” Phong interrupted.

“Of course, Santa. What is it?”

The red-suited sprite surveyed the group. “I have written a short poem for the occasion. Would all of you like to hear it?”

“Of course, Phong.” Bob shrugged. He cast a glance at Dot, who shrugged back. “I didn’t know you were a poet, Phong…”

“There are many things you do not know about me, Young Guardian.” Phong smiled mysteriously. “Now then… Ahem!” The old sprite cleared his throat and reached into his pocket, pulling out an organizer.

“’Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the net,
Not a creature was stirring, bar Frisket (Enzo’s pet);
The stockings were hung by the hard drive with care,
In hopes that Hexadecimal would ne’er leave her lair;

The binomes were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of energy shakes danced in their heads;
And Matrix much older now home from the games,
Discovers his namesake shares more than his name;

When out upon Baudway arose such a clatter,
Dot rose from her booth to see what was the matter;
To the window she flew her speed quite alarming,
A bit intense I know - but she can be rather charming;

Where who should appear to her wandering eye,
But Bob the Guardian, and he’s quite a guy;
Through the city he strode, screwdriver in hand,
What mischief, she wondered, could her lover have planned?

“Bob!” she called out, when to her eyes did appear,
The TV called Mike, his screen frozen in fear;
“He’s nuts!” Mike called, “And the screwdriver is mine,
He bought it from me for ninety-nine-ninety nine-ninety-nine!”

To the diner, and inside, did the appliance retreat;
Bob was hot on his heels, he swift on his feet;
“Relax!” Dot scolded, and he stopped in his tracks,
She kissed him at once, and what a wallop she packs;

“It’s Christmas – for Enzo, and Andri, and Mouse,
And even old Hex, though I still say she’s a louse;
Don’t be bothered by Mike on this loveliest of days,
You could never get him to shut up anyways;”

“You’re right.” Did Bob sigh, as he kissed her again,
“I haven’t been this happy since I don’t know when;”
When out of the diner did Enzo walk grinning,
Then Matrix, and Andri, a trio most winning;

“I’m one lucky sprite, through the web did I roam,
And now, at the last, to call Mainframe a home;
So many sprites that I love, and a place that I like,
I guess with all that, I can even stand Mike!”

Not a word did he speak, as he kissed Dot with glee,
Winked at Matrix and Andri and knelt on one knee,
He hugged Little Enzo and winked at the boy,
To be home with his friends made his heart fill with joy.

But just at that nano were they amazed to be seeing,
A little appliance most enthusiastically fleeing;
And they heard it exclaim, as it ran out of sight.
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

“That was lovely, Santa. Thank you.” Dot grinned.

“You old devil!” AndrAIa chuckled. “You just love being on stage, don’t you?”

“I don’t know what you mean, Child. I am merely a quiet old sprite…”

“Shall we go eat now?” Dot suggested. “I know Cecil has-

“Sacre bleu!” a voice shouted. The sextet of sprites hurried into the kitchen.

“What is it, Cecil?” Dot asked, alarmed.

“Ze dog! He has eaten my beautiful dinner!” Cecil huffed. Frisket sat in the corner, sheepishly licking his paws. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a turkey in Mainframe? Do you?”

“Oh Cecil – I’m so sorry.” Dot sighed. “But it’s the thought that counts. And we appreciate all of your hard work-“

“Zis is what happens when you allow a dog inside a fine dining establishment!” Cecil scowled.

“I guess we’ll have to go out to eat now.” Dot frowned.

“I think there’s a Chinese restaurant open.” Bob offered.

“Look!” Enzo gasped, pointing towards the diner’s open back door.

“What in the net?” AndrAIa squinted. “Matrix, what-”

“It is snowing!” Phong laughed.

“Alphanumeric!” Enzo dashed outside and looked up at the delicate flakes of white dancing through the sky. He deftly caught one on his tongue and grinned.

The others followed him outside. “This is impossible!” Bob protested. “It can’t snow in Mainframe!”

“Apparently it can!” Dot smiled bemusedly, wrapping an arm around his waist and looking up. “Although I have no idea how…”

“You wouldn’t have anything to do with this – would you Phong?” AndrAIa said softly to the old sprite, who was standing well apart from the group, chuckling to himself.

“Who is to say Child, who is to say?” the red-suited sprite smiled. “It is not so important, is it?”

Enzo scooped a handful of snow from the ground and hurled it at the unsuspecting Matrix, laughing. “I’ll get you for that, Sprout!” the bearded sprite growled good-naturedly, wrapping an arm around the boy’s shoulder.

“I don’t understand it Dot.” Bob frowned.

“Does it matter?” she sighed. “It’s beautiful. Isn’t that enough?”

AndrAIa and Matrix found each other in the swirling whiteness and kissed for a long time. Enzo wandered over to Bob and Dot, grinning ecstatically and laughing. “Merry Christmas, Enzo.” The Command.com smiled.

“User bless us – every one.” The boy giggled, hurling a snowball at Bob.

“_Now_ you’ve got the right holiday, Enzo.” Bob laughed. Across the city binomes poured out into the streets, watching in wonder as Mainframe was covered in a blanket of white.

“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.” Phong said softly, patting his belly as he watched the quintet of sprites frolic in the deepening snow. He turned and walked back into the diner. “Perhaps I’ll just try out that ‘Mister Cocoa’ now…”