Number 3

Kit Cloudkicker muses...

You know, people can say what they want about Pirate Island, but it's really not that bad of place... well, for a semi-active volcano. But even in the winter, the sky is crisp and cool, and you can just go out and find a nice place to site, where you can watch the ocean as the sun glistens down on it... listen to the waves hit the rocks below... everything is so serene and peaceful. You get a real sense of the appreciation for the beauty of life...

Karnage: *enters wearing swimming trucks, snorkel, and flippers* Boy, it's cold! We are going to Bearmuda!

Kit: Awright! Adios, freeze-hole!


Q: So how do the pirates celebrate Christmas?

Karnage: Well, we pillage, we plunder, shoot down planes, cause terror and chaos...

Q: But... how is that any different from what you normally do?

Karnage: Oh! We do it all wearing Santa hats, you see.


Q: Captain Karnage, since you're basically a pirate who has everything he wants already, is there anything that's topping your list this year?

Karnage: Hmmm, yes. World domination... endless riches... and ear muffs.

Q: Ear muffs? Why ear muffs?

Karnage: Have you ever heard the boy try to sing Christmas carols?

Kit: Hey!


Q: What about you, Kit? What do you want for Christmas?

Kit: Easy! I wan--

Karnage: I am not getting you a plane!

Kit: *grumbles* Grinch.


Q: Okay, anything besides a plane? Maybe something pirate-ish like a new dagger or sword?

Kit: Uh, well, actually... I'm sorta grounded from using knives and stuff.

Q: Really? Why?

Kit: Well, I uh... I was just borrowing his cutlass for practice, see, and, well...

Karnage: This is why! **stands up and shows his tail, and the bandage wrapped around it**

Kit: I'll say this, though. Emergency rooms are fun to poke around in.

Got something you've always wanted to ask Kit or the Captain? Send it to the Brahma Bear, and see what they say!


For many, the reading of The Night Before Christmas is a time honored Christmas Eve tradition. We K&Kers are no different... we just happen to have our own version.

T'was the night before Christmas
And Molly couldn't sleep
What toys did Santa leave her?
She needed a peep.

While Becky was snoring
Giving her teeth a good grind
Molly snuck out to the tree
To see what she could find.

But lo and behold,
What did she see?
No presents anywhere!
How could this be?

And under the tree
She found a small note
With sad, teary eyes
She read what was wrote:

"Dear annoying girl,"
So the message said,
"No presents this year,
Santa Claus is DEAD.

He got lost in Thembria
And then you know what?
He got stuck in a snowstorm
And froze his fat butt!"

Molly wept and she wailed,
But someone snickered at the noise...
It was Don Karnage sneaking away,
With a bag full of toys.

Kit: During this holiday season, we think it's important to take a moment and reflect upon the things we have and sometimes take for granted.

Karnage: Not to mention, we need to fill up some extra space on this newsletter.

Kit: Well, yeah, that too. Anyway, we'd just like to share what we're thankful for.

Karnage: And, to mark the occasion, I have written a poem!

Kit: You... have?

Karnage: Listen. *ahem* More than our weapons, our fame, and our wealth, we are thankful for me, my wonderful self!

Kit: *groan* Very good. *clap* *clap*

Karnage: *bows* Thank you, thank you. And you, boy?

Kit: Aw, I'm just thankful you can't hide your plane keys where I can't find 'em. Merry Christmas, everyone!