Q:
Kit, if you could go back in time and
live one day over again, differently,
what day would it be and why?
Karnage: The day he jumped my ship,
ruined my plans to plunder Cape Suzette,
and bit me on the bottom!
Kit: Yeah, he's still grouchin' over
that.
Q:
Captain Karnage, what has having a
protege taught you about child rearing?
Karnage: I believe children should be
reared as often as possible. Preferentialbly with a heavy, leather boot.
Q:
A fan writes in: Mr. Karnage sir, yesterday
my friend called you a cheap crook,
so I slugged him in the arm as hard as I could.
Did I do the right thing?
Karnage: You should be ashamed of
yourself! Next time, at least have the decency
to gouge out an eye or two.
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• Kit came up with his own idea, and in fact, decided to use his name-power to create an organization dedicated to an issue near and dear to his heart; thus, the National Airfoil Association was born:
Why it failed: Unfortunately, despite the attractive logo he went though the trouble of drawing and coloring, the number of members in the club never exceeded... well, one.
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K&K Promotional Ideas
(that just didn't work)
From action figures to board games, Kit and Karnage
products have been sold all over the world. However,
for those of you who thought all their fame would go
to their heads, we have news for you:
Of course it has, you twits!
Still, you may be surprised to know that not every
enterprise our favorite Captain and cub have ventured in has
been so successful. Read on...
•
They say there’s a magazine out there for everything, but there really isn’t. There remained at least one special consumer group out there that was being neglected by publishers, until this magazine came out:
Why it failed:
Nobody is quite sure why, but it just didn't sell. Go figure.
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•
Due to a quick cover-up, fans of the series might not be aware of one publicity stunt to boost TaleSpin’s ratings. Within the silenced circles of those who knew of it, the incident has forever been known as Don Karnage’s Plunder & Lightning wardrobe malfunction:
Why it failed:
It brought in the ratings, but the FCC became laden
with complaints of twitterpated fangirls swooning over their televisions.
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Kit Cloudkicker writes:
The Captain and I think that our fans shouldn't just settle for
anything under their Christmas tree. The thing is, it's pretty
hard coming up with just the right gift.
Um, and no, I am not for sale. Quit asking the Captain if he's willing to take bids!
Anyway, we put the guys at Pirate Island through some extensive
product research, and we finally came up with the perfect K&K gift,
just in the nick of time!
And whaddaya know? It actually has certain socially redeemable qualities to it...
Enjoy!
Merry Christmas!
Disclaimer: Kit and Karnage assume no liability for broken computer monitors
with darts pierced through their screens.
Disclaimer #2: Yes, the face is tempting, but if you're playing to win, remember Dracula's weakness.
Disclaimer #3: Disclaimer #2 wasn't really a disclaimer.
Thanks for reading the K&K Newsletter!
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