Welcome to the K&K 2000 Kampaign Headquarters! Our purpose is simple, to show you, the ordinary voting American, why the Karnage - Cloudkicker ticket is a must for your vote in the Presidential election!
Are you tired of politics? Red tape? Party lines? Cover ups and lies? Are you discouraged from voting because there doesn't seem to be any candidate you truly want to support? My friends, be discouraged no longer. Don Karnage is your man!
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Finally, a candidate with an
honest face!
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Don Karnage is a self-made successful entrepreneur. For years, he has been involved in aviation and various "other" businesses. He is most known among his colleges for his leadership, self-confidence, and for doing whatever it takes to get his way. A true fighter for you, the people!
One of Mr. Karnage's main goals is to show you that he truly cares. He knows how hard things are these days. Unfortunately, some cynical critics have labled him as a briber, due to his completely amiable attempt to make the people's lives happier by giving away a free Karnage-plushie to all Americans, as well as a free sea food dinner, should he be elected. But the harsh words of the narrow-minded are no match for his determination.
"I think Don Karnage is someone kids can really look up to," says running mate Kit Cloudkicker. "And he knows he's a good role-model. Trust me, there's nothing more he'd like than for every child to grow up to be just like him."
Top Ten Reasons To Vote K&K
10. No more intern problems... just wenches!
9. Forget the poket veto... Karnage will just chop up bills with his sword!
8. Karnage looks good in a suit.
7. Good for Latin American Relations.
6. You can bet the FAA will be well-funded.
5. Save tax dollars by having Karnage provide his own bodyguards.
4. No pesky nagging suspicious that your politicians are dishonest... you'll KNOW
they are!
3. A teenage V.P.--fight age discrimination!
2. Kit's already got a red scarf, and Karnage's coat is blue and red... just add a dash
of white for a patriotic ensemble!
1. And the #1 reason to vote
K&K... Maybe they can use their
clout to force Disney to make new TaleSpin
episodes!
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One of Karnage's biggest reform plans is to eliminate taxes. Yes, it's true, he will eliminate taxes! If he is elected, no longer shall Americans be bothered by IRS agents, filling out long forms, or the hastle of sending payment. Instead, Karnage has come up with an ingenious plan, in which every week, simple gratuities will be collected door to door by large, intimidating-looking agents, which Karnage himself has personally selected for the job. Karnage is very confident that the grateful people will be more than willing to co-operate, and by doing it this way, he eliminates the middle man, and all the money goes directly to the head of the goverment, himself!
Karnage assures everyone, "Of course, you can trust me! Your money will always be put to good uses!"
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Kit Cloudkicker-- Working for the future!
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Running for Vice President is Kit Cloudkicker. Looking younger than most, he has been victim to much discrimination, including facing an ugly rumer that he is only twelve years old. (We suspect the Bush Campaign started it) But despite his trials, Cloudkicker has remained one of the most compitent candidates ever to run an election.
"He is not so incredibly estupid," praises Don Karnage about his running mate.
Kit is very anxious to be involved in legislation, and plans to work hard in being an influencial force, especially in youth rights. In fact, he already has a bill prepared to present to Congress once he takes office, one that will lower the legal age to obtain a pilot's license.
"I think young people would be much better off if they just got an even break once in awhile," explains Mr. Cloudkicker. "Besides, anyone can fly."
So remember, eligable voters, to make the right decision this election. Vote K&K! Your happiness and kneecaps just might depend on it!
